I can't believe I haven't written in so long. I wanted to write to you on your first birthday but we had company in town for your party (and Oliver's) and it just didn't happen. Tomorrow you turn 13 month old! Time keeps flying by. So much happened in your first year of life, in some ways I can't believe so much fit into one year (two surgeries, seeing five specialists, learning how to put your contact in and take it out (in the beginning, your eye was so small, we struggled to do it at all but now I can do it by myself), patching your eye daily (not easy or enjoyable), going to the ER when you fell out of your carseat and hit your head on the asphalt (That was so scary. I'm so grateful you're okay.), hitting all of your milestones right on track, and watching your amazing personality develop (you're sweet and friendly, you seem to be outgoing and have a light about you).
I honestly hardly even notice that one of your eyes is smaller than the other now. I really do just see your happiness, beauty and light. Kids ask me about your eye all the time. Yesterday at the park, one little boy told me you were missing an eye. I told him it's just smaller than the other and he wouldn't let it go until I opened your eye and showed him. Even still, a few minutes later he came back and asked about it again. It doesn't bother me that kids ask about it because I know they're just curious and want to know. I know someday it will be you fielding those questions. I hope it won't bother you. I know you'll probably get tired of saying the same thing over and over again. What will be worse, I would think, will be people looking at you but not saying anything. Not wanting to be rude but making it uncomfortable anyway. I remember the day we came home from the hospital after you were born. I was still so emotional from the hormones that come along with pregnancy. I set your carseat carrier down in the front room and walked into the bathroom a few feet away. I closed the door and started sobbing. I cried for you, for the heartache you will surely experience throughout your life. I didn't want you to have to go through any pain, to be made fun of, to feel left out. I've come a long way over the past year. I still think about it sometimes; I hope you will always know of your worth and not allow other people to determine that for you. But I see how amazing you are and how you have been blessed with a happy disposition to help you in this life and I know you're going to be okay.
We're grateful for you, sweet girl. For a year, we prayed for you to join our family. Oliver prayed daily for a sister and your dad and I prayed and fasted to have another child. You are an answer to our prayers and a blessing to our family. We love you!
Love, Mom
