One-Week Photo Shoot

I love this happy little milk smile.

You are absolutely beautiful. We love you, sweet girl. Love, Mom

The story of your birth

Dear Eleanor,

You are finally here (and finally have a name)! You were born one week ago from today: Monday, February 16th at 6:53pm. We are so happy you're here. You have filled our home with your sweet spirit and disposition. We absolutely adore you.

Six days old. 

We arrived at Banner Desert Hospital in Mesa a little after 7:00am for my scheduled induction. After filling out the paperwork, our nurse, Liz, escorted us to our "new home" (as she called it). I put on a gown and got "comfortable" in the hospital bed. 

Since I'm positive for Group B Strep (I was with your brothers as well), I had to have four hours of penicillin, then wait a couple of hours and have more penicillin. My doctor started the induction process with a balloon catheter, which took me from 3cm to 5cm while I was receiving the penicillin. Like with Josh, the penicillin was the worst part for me because it felt like my left arm was on fire for hours as the penicillin traveled through the IV. Liz would turn the dosage down, which felt so much better, but would have to turn it up again after a short time so we could complete the dosage before starting the induction. At 3:45pm, I was 6cm and 80% effaced. The contractions weren't too bad; I really tried to focus my breathing through them and it helped. A little after 4:00pm, I started feeling cold and shaking, which I knew meant I was getting closer. I felt I was at a 4 or 5 on a 1-10 pain scale. I knew I wanted an epidural (unexpectedly not having one with Oliver was a bit traumatic for me) so I got the epidural before starting the Pitocin, even though the pain wasn't too intense yet. The epidural made me a little nervous this time because I felt a bit of cramping in my back when it was administered but I was told this was normal (I just don't remember it from my epidural with Josh). I was told the anesthesiologist was the best and could do this with her eyes closed. That made me feel a little better. After getting the epidural, I felt so much better. So warm and relaxed, I almost fell asleep during the Pitocin (I had only had 3.5 hours of sleep the night before; I just couldn't sleep, which was so frustrating.). By 5:40pm, I was at 8cm and 90% effaced. Dr. Labesky came a short time later to break my water. Not long after that, I started pushing. I only pushed for 12 minutes and then heard your sweet little cries at 6:53pm. 

Left: Alex (Dr. Labesky's intern), Dr. Labesky, and our nurse, Kristal. They were all amazing. I love my doctor! We were sad Liz's shift ended and she had to leave (the nurses refer to leaving before the baby is born a "Labor Looser") but Kristal was also an amazing nurse. We loved all of the staff. 

They laid you on my chest and my eyes filled up with tears. It's such an amazing feeling to hear those little cries for the first time and to see you for the first time. It almost felt surreal. I felt gratitude and love wash over me. My first thought when I saw you was that you look like Oliver did when he was a newborn (your dad told me he thought this when he first saw you, too). 

(More pictures - being weighed, Wendel putting diaper on, etc.) 

We wanted Grandma, Oliver and Josh to be able to see you that night but we had to stay in the L&D Room for two hours before being moved to the Recovery Room (where visitors are allowed), so they had to wait until the next morning. Oliver was so excited to see you the next morning. Josh was a little apprehensive but also very curious. 

I love these pictures. Your brothers love you so much. It was so sweet to see them meeting you for the first time.

First picture as a family of five.

Choosing your name wasn't easy for us. We had a difficult time choosing your brothers' names, too. Your dad likes to wait until after he sees you to decide on your name. I love older, classic names and really wanted to name you Kate, which has been on my name list since 2008. I liked the name Genevieve for your middle name because it's a family name (my maternal great grandmother's name and my paternal great grandmother's middle name. Both women were wonderful, charitable women. I was reading recently about my PGG. She met a man on a bus who needed dental work done so she took him to a dentist and paid for the work to be done. She also saw a little boy who needed a coat so she bought him one. What a great example to look up to!) Your dad liked the name Genevieve for your middle name but didn't like Kate for your first name at all. He felt it was too popular and just didn't really like it for your first name. But there weren't any other names he felt strongly about. And he wouldn't discuss names until after your birth, which was stressful for me. 

The day after your birth, one of the nurses told me she was a little concerned about your right eye because you weren't opening it. She said it looked like it was fused shut and she had called a specialist to come look at it. She told me he would likely have to cut it open or you might possibly need surgery to open it. 

So we were sitting in the hospital room, you asleep in the bassinet between us, discussing names the day after you were born. The eye doctor, Dr. Underdall, would be coming soon, and we had a little time to ourselves before he arrived. Your dad was looking up names online and said, "What do you think of Eleanor?" We had friends back in WA who named their daughter Eleanor years ago and at the time, we had both said we really liked the name. I still liked it but wasn't sure if I wanted to use it. You dad read the meaning: "A light that shines in darkness." Right then Dr. Underdall walked in. The nurse had already put numbing drops in your eyes. He used a metal clamp to open your right eyelid so he could examine your eye. The nurse assisted him, which they did in a far part of the room, so we couldn't see. It hurt my heart to hear you scream the way you did. We expected him to tell us he would need to cut your eyelid open or something along those lines. Instead, he told us you were born with Microphthalmia, which means your right eye is about half the size of your left eye. He said your right eye stopped developing in utero, around 20 weeks. He said he could see cataracts on your eye and that you would likely need surgery to remove them. He said you may not have vision in that eye. He referred us to some specialists in the valley and then left. 

Two days later, still in shock and feeling uncertainty, we were sitting in the waiting room at the Retina Specialist's Office in Phoenix. Your dad again brought up the name Eleanor. I needed to let it sink in a little more. I liked the name and liked the meaning a lot. I just didn't like making such a big decision under pressure (we had to let the hospital know by Friday and it was Thursday). 

At your appointment, Dr. Bryan did an ultra sound of your eye and found cataracts and a thin rod, connecting from the back of your eye to the front. He said usually this rod goes away in utero but didn't in your right eye. He said surgery would be necessary to remove the rod and the cataracts, to give you the best chance for vision in that eye. He also said it looked like the retina was attached but surgery would let us know for sure. He wanted the surgery scheduled when you were one month old. The thought of my little one month old baby having surgery made me nervous. It was a lot to take in in only a few days. He said considering the spectrum of Microphthalmia, you are on the better end of it. You have an iris and a pupil. Your retina appears to be attached. You may have vision in that eye. 

Your dad and I talked on the way home about what a special girl you are. We talked about the strengths you will be blessed with to help you in this life and how you are blessed with wonderful older brothers to look out for you and be an example to you. We talked about how we hope we can be what we need to be for you. We let our tears freely fall as we talked about these things. We then decided Eleanor is the perfect name for you. You may not have vision in one eye but you will always be a light shining in darkness. I requested Kate as your middle name. I still liked Genevieve but I liked how Kate sounded with Eleanor. It took your dad a few minutes to think it over but he agreed. We think we'll call you Norah for short. We have always loved Norah Jones' music (The Long Way Home was our wedding song) and considered Norah for you as an option for your first name, so it seems to be a fitting nick name. 

We love you, sweet girl. You have already blessed our family with your sweet, amazing spirit. I look into your eyes and mine fill up with tears because I can feel the Spirit. We can't wait to see the great things your Father in Heaven has in store for you here on earth. We're so glad you're here. 

Almost time!

Dear Baby Girl,

It's almost time to meet you! One week to go! My doctor offered to induce me a week early, on February 16th, so providing you don't come before then, that will be the date of your arrival. I'm very excited to hold you and see who you look like. I'm excited for your brothers to meet you (especially Oliver, since he's been wanting a sister for quite some time). I've been working on your nursery a little at a time and I'm excited for it all to come together (hopefully by this coming Saturday). We're all pretty excited around here and can't wait for you to join us.

Love, Mom

37 weeks...and so ready to be done!

How far along: 37 Weeks (36.5 Weeks in these photos) 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 40 lbs. (Yikes!) 

Maternity clothes: I am so sick of them! I only have one pair of maternity jeans that fit (pictured here), a few shirts and a skirt or two. I feel extremely unattractive at this point. 

Stretch marks: So many.

Sleep: Sleeping a little better than I was but I still wake up once or twice to pee and I don't get nearly the amount of sleep my body needs (I usually get around 6 hours). Josh and Oliver get up around 6:00-6:30, which is way too early. 

Best moment last week: Two: 1. I had an ultra sound and was able to see your ribs moving up and down as you're practicing breathing. Pretty cool to see. 2. Your dad put together the bench part of the window seat for your room and drilled the top to it. I'm excited to put it in place and decorate it with pillows and things (as soon as the curtains are up). 

Movement: You move a lot.

Food cravings: Chocolate. Sweets. Sometimes bread. (The 40 lb. weight gain should come as no surprise.) 

Baby Stats: You are doing great. What started out as a long list of risks (Downs Syndrome, Preeclampsia, low fluids in the placenta, low birth weight, low pap-a...all due to my age and some my age combined with blood results) have now all been eliminated. I'm grateful for that. I still have to have two Non-Stress Tests a week since I was so high risk - just to make sure you're doing okay. This entails being monitored so the doctor can see how often you're moving. If you fall asleep during this process, we have to wait until you wake up to continue. It can be as short as 20 minutes or as long as an hour. They aren't my favorite, especially if I have to take Josh with me, but I am grateful you're being monitored and that you're doing well.

Symptoms: Ugh. Everything hurts - bending, walking up the stairs, carrying Josh, my tailbone when I walk, turning over in bed, strain on my legs / varicose veins, I get out of breath easily, I feel light-headed and dizzy often, I have Braxton Hicks contractions almost daily, I have to pee a lot, my back hurts, my hips fall asleep when I lay on them (so I wake up in the night a lot, to turn over) I have heartburn a lot (several times a day), I'm incredibly exhausted...I cope by taking a warm shower in the morning to relieve the back aches, a warm bath a night to do the same, I take TUMS for the heartburn, I try to sit down and rest for a few minutes at least once during the day (not easy with two active little boys) and lots of self-talk to get through each day. 

Labor signs: None that indicate true labor...just lot of Braxton Hicks contractions and lightning crotch (a casual term that refers to shooting/sharp pains in the area of the vagina/cervix/groin that come and go and hurt like heck, but only for a few seconds.) I only had BH contractions once with Josh and not at all with Oliver and didn't have lightning crotch with either of them but have had both very frequently with you. 

Belly button - in or out? Definitely out.

What I miss: My pre-pregnancy body. 

What I am looking forward to: Meeting you soon! (Hopefully sooner than later.) 

One month to go

Dear "Lady Bud" (as Daddy calls you...we have Oliver, our "Bud," Joshua, our "Baby Bud," and now you, our "Lady Bud."),

The time of your arrival is getting closer. One month to go until your due date. I'm pretty uncomfortable and feeling ready to have you on the outside of my body. I'm trying to appreciate my pregnancy with you the best I can, since we're planning for you to be our last. But near the end, it's becoming more difficult to appreciate the discomfort.

I'm excited to meet you and see who you look like. I dreamt a while ago that you look like your dad when he was young. I had a dream back in 2008 that we had a baby girl and she had your dad's skin and hair coloring. It will be interesting to see.

Tonight I stood in your room and ran my hand along your little dresses hanging in your closet. It's fun to envision them on you. I have a few more things to do before your nursery is finished and I'm very excited for everything to come together. I'm just so exhausted...it's a slow process. Your brothers keep me very busy and worn out.

Oliver is very excited to meet you, as well. He has been praying for you for a long time, as have your dad and I. We love you already!

Love, Mom

So uncomfortable!

How far along: 34 1/2 Weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss: A little over 30 lbs. 

Maternity clothes: None of my "cute" maternity clothes fit me anymore. Not much fits me at all. I kind of feel like a beached whale. I like wearing black because my belly band isn't as obvious. NOTHING looks flattering anymore. I am definitely past the "cute" pregnancy stage. 

Stretch marks: Yep. I'm fine with it. (The varicose veins...not so much.)

Sleep: Still not sleeping well. At all. I wake up to pee and when I do, my back hurts so much, it's sometimes difficult to fall back to sleep. Plus Oliver and Josh get up in the night from time to time. 

Best moment last week: I finished the cushion part of the window seat for the nursery last night. So excited to see it come together.

Movement: I'm feeling lots of movement, especially in the early morning and night. Your kicks are getting stronger and feel lower.

Food cravings: Still sweets, especially chocolate. I try not to give in too much but it's pretty intense.

Baby Stats: I have a doctor appointment tomorrow so I should have an update after that.

Symptoms:  I can say all the same I did last time: still backaches, exhaustion, I feel "heavy" (I can feel the extra weight from carrying you bearing on my legs when I walk up the stairs). I'm getting more uncomfortable with each passing week. Bending is very difficult. I also have sleep issues and I'm feeling HUGE. But it's all more intense and exhaustion is unreal. Plus I feel dizzy a lot. Once 4:00 hits, I often have to steady myself on something. The doctor said this is normal, especially for mothers who have other kids to take care of and slack on self-care a bit. That would be me. I also have varicose veins all down the back of my thighs and knees. I'm not thrilled about this development. I feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER! I can't believe how long this pregnancy is feeling to me. My other two went by so much faster. 

Labor signs: None but I'm feeling more pressure, like you're trying to get out. Getting closer. Update: I had my first non-stress test at my Dr. appointment yesterday. I was hooked up to a monitor for about 45 minutes, which recorded your heartbeat and movement. About half way through, Dr. Labesky asked me, "Are you feeling contractions?" I told her no. She said, "You've been having them for a while." She said it isn't concerning or pressing if I can't feel them and she will check me next week to see if I'm dilated at all. She did an ultra sound and fluid levels look good. But I have to say, this kicked me into gear as far as feeling a bit of urgency, especially because when I stopped to check the mail on the way home and got out of the van, I felt a contraction. I think more of the Braxton-Hicks variety and just one, but still...it motivated me to get the hospital bags packed last night...just in case you decide to make an early appearance. 

Belly button - in or out? Very much out.

What I miss: Having my body to myself and fitting into my size 6 clothes. Also, energy and sleeping better than I am. (Same as last time.) Also, going to the gym. I can't fathom it right now but I miss it still. 

What I am looking forward to: My Dr appointment tomorrow, just to get an update. Also, finishing the window seat for the nursery. 

29 Weeks

How far along: 29 Weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Loss? Funny. 

Maternity clothes: Getting a little sick of them. Excited to wear my pre-pregnancy wardrobe again someday...eventually.  

Stretch marks: Quite a few on my stomach. Still. And probably some new ones, too.

Sleep: I am not sleeping well. At all. I have officially kicked Wendel out of our bed (politely) and he's a good sport about it. He sleeps on the guest bed because I was literally waking up every time he turned over, coughed, got up to use the bathroom, etc. I still wake up several times in the night (hearing the boys cough, hearing Oliver go into the bathroom, Josh has been waking up in the night lately, I have to pee, I have a bad or vivid dream that wakes me up, I'm too hot, I wake when I turn over...). Last night I laid in bed for two hours, not able to sleep. The baby was kicking the entire time. The boys get up between 6:00-6:45 and I'm always tired when they get up. I'm looking forward to getting some good sleep again someday, which I realize won't happen for at least six months, probably longer. Sigh. 

Best moment last week: We finally finished up the dresser a while ago (my friend, Autumn helped me paint it) and moved it into your room last weekend. I put the white ceramic knobs on the other night and it looks great. I'm so excited about it and to see the room come together.

Movement: I'm feeling lots of movement, especially in the early morning and night. The kicks are getting stronger.

Food cravings: Still sweets, especially chocolate. I try not to give in too much but it's pretty intense.

Baby Stats: I haven't had another ultra sound since the last one but I do have a Dr appointment tomorrow, where the Dr will do a stress test. (The first of many, I'm sure.) At my last appointment, she said you're measuring right on track. I was also told at my last ultra sound appointment you're head down.

Symptoms:  I can say all the same I did last time: still backaches, exhaustion, I feel "heavy" (I can feel the extra weight from carrying you bearing on my legs when I walk up the stairs). I'm getting more uncomfortable with each passing week. Bending is very difficult. I also have sleep issues and I'm feeling HUGE. 

Labor signs: None (thankfully). 

Belly button - in or out? Out now.

What I miss: Having my body to myself and fitting into my size 6 clothes. Also, energy and sleeping better than I am. 

What I am looking forward to: My Dr appointment tomorrow, just to get an update. Also, getting the nursery more put together.